Let's Taco-bout it

A few weeks ago, I started seeing a lot of hype about this new taco place opening up in the Midtown area of Atlanta. The Instagram posts promised colorful tacos, frozen margaritas, a well-lit interior and excellent patio space. Plus a rainbow bench outside as a landmark/place to wait for your Über or Lyft to show up after you've gorged yourself on tequila and lamb barbacoa. I don't know if you follow a lot of food writers, critics, bloggers, ... people like me who just like to write for a living and then write more about food after work ... on social media, but Instagram deserves some serious props for being a visual smorgasbord. We eat with our eyes first, and this platform provides enough tastebud stimulation to make you hungry even if you just ate.

The poblano rice at Cactus House

Suffice to say that there was something about this place's Insta aesthetic that made my eyes big and my mouth water. And plus, if you've been following Meatetarian Eats for any period of time, you'll know tacos are some of my favorite things to eat at any time of day, night or wee hours of the morning #ThanksTacoBell. I had to be in Midtown last night for a super-cool engineering event at MODA, which is the Museum of Design Atlanta, and I left my staff meeting with some time to kill before the workshop started. Plenty of time to run into Cactus House.

Some logistics information: if you've ever spent any time in Midtown Atlanta, you know that parking is primo (probably why they have that bench). But plus side to this place, it is next door to a public parking garage. It'll cost you less than $5 to spend an hour there, which for Atlanta parking prices is cheap. I loathe searching for parking, so I would like to take a moment and offer some Snap Cup snaps and golf claps to the owners of Cactus House for finding real estate next to a wealth of parking for customers.

Another random note (I swear I'll get to the food in a second) — there's a lot of fun graphic artwork painted on the walls in and outside of Cactus House. For example, the giant mural with a sugar skull inside the parking deck, which proclaims, "Don't do drugs, eat tacos." That, friends, is some wonderful life advice.

Anyway. The part you really came for (other than my searing with and exhaustive ooze of Southern charm) — los tacos.

I got two. And when asked by my server, the manager and a man who turned out to be the owner how they tasted, I responded with "pretty good." That's not a lie. I eat a lot of tacos, a lot of different kinds of tacos, and I must say, these have a great foundation ... but there's some room for improvement, particularly in the seasoning realm.

Fried avocado, tomatoes and creamy
sauce on top of a corn tortilla

Let us begin with the fried avocado taco. Yes. Fried. Avocado. First, perfect texture on the breading — crisp, didn't fall off the avo slices, which were delightfully thick. There were also some charred tomato slices, a drizzle of a creamy white sauce and a schmear of possibly tomatillo salsa, all topped with a sprinkle of fresh-chopped cilantro. I am a fan of this taco. There's texture, there's richness and a little sweetness from the tomato. My one point of contention was that there needs to be just a dash more salt in that batter. When I make avocado toast or put avocados on a sandwich or make guac, I have to put some salt on there. Just a little bit to really enhance the flavors not only of the avocado, but of the other ingredients on the taco.

The second taco I ordered was the pork carnitas. Carnitas, by the way, is a traditional Mexican way of cooking pork in oil or fat until it's melt-in-your-mouth tender. I have two issues with the way Cactus House's carnitas was prepared. One, again with the flavoring. The meat was a little bland — however, I could gloss over that considering that everything else on top was bomb, like more avocado, a spicy green salsa, fresh onions and more cilantro — and it needed to be braised a little longer. The meat wasn't tough, but it definitely wasn't falling apart when I bit into it. In fact, most of the meat I ended up eating with my fingers instead of in the taco itself because it fell out or I bit it out in huge chunks, rather than being able to eat everything all at once.

The pork carnitas taco had great toppings,
but room for improvement on the meat

My only other qualm about the tacos is the tortilla. These were corn tortillas, which I love love love, but there's a reason most places give you a double-stack of corn tortillas. Flour tortillas are a lot more pliant than wheat or corn tortillas, which have a tendency to split when you fold them up. I know it may be a ding in the bottom line, but I think offering two tortillas per taco would be a good move (and I would also throw in an extra 50 cents or so to make it happen).

There are a lot more on the menu that I want to go back and try — grouper, shrimp, lamb barbacoa, for starters, plus a mushroom taco (that sounds so FUN GUYS) — so I'm not going to let something like a splitting tortilla or too little salt keep me away from $3 and $4.50 tacos. I also need to go back and try the frozè, which is the latest millennial cocktail concoction taking over the Interwebs. It's a rosè slushie, so obviously this will require both a trip to Cactus House and a trip to Venkman's for a compare-and-contrast post.

Oh! I almost forgot, which is a shame because this was my favorite part. Do yourself a flavor and order the poblano rice. I am obsessed with Spanish/Mexican rice, and this was delicious. The rice is cooked with carrots, corn and poblano peppers, and seasoned with cilantro, which gives it this incredible freshness. Of course, if you are one of those poor lost souls who thinks cilantro tastes like soap, you should maybe forego this recommendation and order the yucca fries, which are going to be on my plate next time.

I also feel like I need to give a shout to the other tacos I had this week while enjoying beer at Gate City Brewing, which is just down the street from me in Roswell. I don't know how breweries do it where you live, but in Georgia, the true breweries right now don't have food on-premise, and instead support local businesses by bringing in food trucks or catering. Gate City had Carne 250, a Tex-Mex barbecue stand, outside serving up King Ranch tacos.

Maybe it was the beer, maybe it was just the fact that I love tacos, but holy smoking pig, Batman. For $10 you could get two loaded tacos with smoked pork, brisket (that's a beef cut, just FYI), mole (a deep-flavored sauce, not the animal that tears up your yard), tomatoes, queso and like three other things I'm forgetting ... and I didn't take a picture of the sign to remember, so my bad. My only suggested change to these would be taking out the tortilla chips embedded in the taco filling. I don't think they added much to it, but if you feel like they're an essential ingredient to the whole Tex-Mex feel, maybe crumble a few on top. Being part of the filling made them pretty soggy.

Are you tired of listing to me taco-bout tacos? No?! (Me neither!) Let me leave you with this little bit of associated dating wisdom from this MODA workshop that spawned this entire taco venture: "Take a lover who looks at you like maybe you are nachos."

Bittersweet & Sour

Ever have one of those days where you just need a good pick-me-up, and the thing that hits the spot is a favorite food? My friend Kayla had one of those days a while back, and what she craved was fries from Ormsby's.

Given that the only time previously I'd been to Ormsby's was to drink waaaay too much Mother Earth Kolsch, beat the heck out of some friends on Skee-Ball and play at least two rounds of Ring of Fire, followed by some weird card game, more Skee-Ball and by this point in the evening I have no idea what else ... I was entirely unaware Ormsby's had fries, much less an entire food menu. I also don't really remember having to go through the restaurant portion to get to the game bar portion of the place, to be completely honest sorry Mom.

Kayla talked me into a re-visit, and I don't know if it was the topics of conversation we had going, the slow service or what, but it was not the best restaurant experience. And that really sucks, because the star of my plate was pretty decent. Also, I think I would have preferred to be drinking and playing games than drinking and talking about that Tammy Wynette song that goes "my d-i-v-o-r-c-e is final today." But we made the best of it (and kind of saw Alton Brown out of the window on the way home, but I swear I was a good #foodiefangirl and did not scream, jump out of her car, run up to him and ask him to sign a Post-It. I swear. I've already done that once).

The best part I'm saving for last. Spoiler alert.

I did enjoy the bratwurst I ordered. There's just something about that smart pop of casing as you bite into a brat that gets me every time. Plus, add sauerkraut, some spicy Dijon mustard and a pillowy soft, salty pretzel bun and every bite is a million flavors of things I like. Really I could eat anything on a pretzel roll and it would automatically be made 10-to-the-nth-power times better. Like, I got nothin' else for y'all on that. This speaks for itself.

But I digress. Highly recommend the brat. And the fries! I totally should have gotten my own order of fries, but instead I thought, "Oh, Kayla's getting fries. I'll try one of hers and instead I'll order the sweet potato chips."

Bad life choice.

The sweet potato chips were ... awful. First of all, ginormous, like the potato had been put long-side on the mandolin to be sliced (see photo for reference). Second, not cooked well. One bite of one giant chip was burnt, the other was still chewy where it hadn't sat in the fryer (or oven? Not sure if these were fried or baked) quite long enough. Third, not seasoned. Trust me, I get that sweet potatoes have excellent natural flavor, but one of the greatest parts of having house-made chips is that gentle douse of flaked salt sprinkled on top. Speaking of Alton Brown, on one of his shows he talked about how adding salt brings out the flavor of everything else in a dish. So enhance the natural sweetness of those 'tater chips with just a little bit of NaCl, guys.

I feel a little like Forrest Gump right now. Usually I eat such fabulous stuff that I go on and on and on and now I'm ... damn. "And that's all I have to say about that."

Boozy Bonus: Gose all daaaaay y'all.

What I will go on and on and on about is the beer I had with this brat. Two Evil Geyser Gose is hands down one of the best beers I've ever had, and 100 percent the best gose. Probably the best sour in general except for this gueuze I had three years ago.

Two Evil Geyser is a collaboration between Evil Twin, which is also one of my favorite breweries — never had a bad beer from there, and it's on my bucket list of places to visit — and Two Roads Brewing, which I had never heard of. Y'all know I'm all about trying the weird stuff, so when I saw on the beer list that this had Icelandic moss and yogurt and sea salt in it, I was allllll over it. Like, what the hell was this going to taste like?!

The answer? Effing amazing. You get this delicious tartness with an incredible depth of flavor. I have no idea what Icelandic moss tastes like, but the overall flavor isn't overpowering in the least ... and it finishes so clean! There's no aftertaste, no weird finish at the back of your throat. I've never had a sour that I would describe as particularly refreshing, but this, ice cold, I wanted to keep coming. Not chugging, per se, but definitely didn't leave any behind.

So. Who wants to come with me next time for fries, beer and Skee-ball? We can skip the chips. First round's on me.

Melted Butter, Sweetie Go, Let Me See That Lobster Roll!

If you didn't sing the post title to the tune of "Tootsee Roll," then I'm not sure we can be friends.

There are a few key indulgences I enjoy in life. And by "few" I mean filet and seafood. And by "seafood" I mean lobster and scallops. You know I like you a lot when I offer to cook you any combination of those items.

I digress. A couple weeks ago I migrated back down to my favorite place in the United States (not world, sorry; that honor goes to Glastonbury) for a family girls trip, and since I had to work the entire week, my only goal was to eat at The Lazy Lobster of Longboat again. I've been twice before, but the last time was two years ago, and it was necessary to make a return trip. Oh, and just FYI ... be careful about where your GPS takes you. I'm not sure how we did it, but on one trip we ended up at an abandoned shopping center in the rain nowhere near the restaurant.

My almost-20-year-old cousin, affectionately known for her entire life as "Kiddo," chauffeured me from our home base on Anna Maria Island to Longboat Key, where Lazy Lobster lies (we made it without any GPS mishaps this time). Longboat Key is a pretty luxe little island. Great place to snag a beach house if you happen to be a millionaire. Big houses. Big paychecks. Also, big lobster rolls.

Anyone unfamiliar with a lobster roll? Just in case, I'mma throw some knowledge on you. You pick up a lot of random seafood facts when you work a bit doing social media for a fish market (shout-out to Kathleen's Catch!) and now's a good a time as any to impart some of those on you.

Maine lobsters, which are the ones you're probably most familiar with, are in season from about mid-June to late fall. There's also the Caribbean (a.k.a. Florida, Rock or Spiny) lobster — the meat of this one tends to be a little tougher and not as sweet, but still good. Maine lobster is what you're most likely to find diced, slathered and sandwiched. That's because claw meat makes the best lobster rolls since it's super tender, and Caribbean lobsters don't have very big claws to pull meat from.

Hot, buttery lobster roll and potatoes au gratin from
The Lazy Lobster of Longboat

These indulgences (clearly, this is a synonym for "lobster roll," just accept it) can be made hot or cold. Kiddo ordered hers cold, which means the meat is delicately mixed with a seasoned mayo mixture and served on top of the buttered bun. Mine was hot, because there is no better way to eat lobster than slathered in melted clarified butter and served warm on top of a toasted bun that is also soaked in melted clarified butter.

Word to the wise: Ask for an extra napkin.

Clarified butter, by the way, is butter that's been rendered down so the water and milk fat are gone. It's very pure, and here's my man Alton Brown's recipe to make it at home for DIY lobster rolls (or you know, like toast and stuff).

So back to the task at hand. I'm holding a clarified butter-soaked lightly toasted bun full of buttery warm sweet seafood goodness and I am eating it so

so

so

so

slowly to savor every morsel of meat that I possibly can. Treats like this are so rich, so udderly (get it? Butter jokes) fulfilling, that to scarf it all down in about eight bites like I do every other sandwich is a waste. To fully experience a lobster roll, you have to let it slide on your tongue for a bit. Dip any of the little pieces that fall out into the butter that's inevitably dripping onto your plate. Masticate leisurely. Don't rush this.

In between bites, I highly recommend ordering potatoes au gratin as the side to munch on. Sounds like a weird pairing. Probably is a weird pairing, but it's still good. Potatoes au gratin is basically a fancy French-ish way of saying "lasagna made with layers of thinly sliced potatoes and cheese." It's like one step up from fries or chips, so, #adulting?

Having successfully devoured a Lazy Lobster lobster roll, full to the brim yet still wanting more (it's a life problem), I briefly pondered ordering the other favorite thing at Lazy Lobster: lobster 'scargot. Which is one of those escargot silver trays, but instead of snails a la "Pretty Woman," inside each divot is a chunk of lobster covered in yes, more clarified butter and then topped with melted Swiss cheese. If the idea of the hot lobster roll has your mouth watering as much as mine is, but you're one of those gluten-free, low-carb types, this comes as a highly recommended substitute.

Either way, you're gonna feel a whoop comin' on when the plate gets to your table. Slide, baby, slide.

Comfort Food + the New Normal

Food has always been a source of comfort for me. Not necessarily in the sense of when I'm sad/have feelings I eat a lot (though I fully admit I'll grab a piece of chocolate to sate those emotions), but more along the lines of associating food with a sense of comfort; of happiness or unhappiness.

When I'm happy, I eat. I eat good food. Quality ingredients. Local restaurants. Award-winning chefs. Go out of my way to find incredible things to put on my tastebuds. The typical foodie shit.

When I'm — I hesitate to use the word depressed, because I have never been diagnosed with depression, and I don't want to negate the serious implications associated with this battle so let's go with — less-than-happy, I still eat. But I eat food that's not "good." It's usually fast food. It's usually me being lazy. It's usually me fighting this overwhelming sense of "I'm not good enough." I can't explain this feeling. I can't control it, but I got very good at hiding it. And for a good, long while, I got very good at hiding it from myself.

I would wait up late at night at eat pizza or chicken fingers or a QPWC or (my personal favorite) a take-out Philly cheesesteak when J got home, sometimes as late as 1 a.m. I would wake up the next morning and lay in bed, fighting the urge to get up, wondering what was so wrong with me that x-part of my life was such a failure. My small business failed. My job was a shambles. My life was a shambles. But I had a constant. I had to be the strong one, because though I do not have clinical depression, I was deeply, deeply in love with someone who fought mental battles I could never imagine; only do my best to be there for him. I thought I was sure that things would be OK. If we could only get over this hurdle. That obstacle. Fight another battle of one of us having these awful feelings that we could do nothing right.

We couldn't. I'd like to think we tried our damndest, in our own ways. But sometimes things aren't what they seem.

Getting there.

As a suddenly single 28-year-old, I had a choice to make. J made the one that was right for him, and though it took me a couple months to realize it, I think the choice he made was the right one for both of us. There was a new normal to get the hang of.

During the past few months, I changed my eating habits and how I was living my life, and the happiness level has upped itself. Slowly but surely, I'm able to be at a weight I am beyond happy over and still treat myself to good food that makes me happy, eaten alongside people that make me feel the same way.

I met new people. I dance a lot. I'm not 100 percent back to being my sassy sexy self, but I'm getting there. And if you're reading this, you probably know what role you play in that. So thanks a ton, humans; y'all da real MVPs. I've had to get used to a new normal. And as much as it sucked when it began, now I'm excited about the future. It's still terrifying, of course, as any change is for me. But again, we're getting there.

One of the ways I'm healing is making new memories with my comfort food. Those places J and I went together as two people who we thought would one day get married ... now they're places I am slowly reintroducing into my life with different people. One of these days I'll write about North River Tavern (probably the onion rings, to be completely honest; they're SO GOOD). But today I'm going to give y'all a little snippet of Sandy Springs Diner.

This is a place J and I went together. We went with his parents (they found it, so shout-out to them for this one!). We went with Daddy after he and I ran our 5K last September. And today, it's a place I can go with family or friends and still love it just as much.

And by "it," I mean the French dip sandwich. Like holy crap.

Having grown up in the South where our idea of a diner is WaHo, I can't say I have much experience in the realm of diners. Note to self: write about The Majestic and The Grill. But I have it on good authority from J's parents that this is precisely what a diner should be like. It's not much to speak of, atmosphere-wise, with burgundy (my least favorite color next to beige) as the main hue in the decor, but the food man. The food.

In the unfortunate off-chance you are unfamiliar with French dips, they are a hoagie roll stuffed with cheese and thinly-sliced beef served with a side of au jus to dip in. In the extra unfortunate chance you are unfamiliar with the French dip served at Sandy Springs Diner ... y'all just come on up and I'll treat you to one. Seriously. This is not a joke. I need more human interaction and more of this sandwich in my life.

The French dip at Sandy Springs Diner

The dip at Sandy Springs has three key components that make it stand out: the thinly sliced tender roast beef; the perfectly toasted hoagie roll (crispy just on the crust and fresh-baked soft on the inside); and the dipping sauce. Au jus, by the way, is the fancy French way of saying "meat-flavored oil to dip a sandwich into." This au jus is au yeah. The bread soaks it up, the meat soaks it up, so each bite melts in your mouth.

It's the second-best French dip sandwich I've ever had. The first is at a restaurant in Aiken, South Carolina, and honestly the main reason that one gets top spot is because of the fries. At this particular restaurant, or at least the last time I ate there (it's been at least a decade, whoops) the fries were divine. That perfect middle ground between McDonald's and potato wedges (at Sandy Springs Diner, the fries are more akin to potato wedges).

But I can get over the whole fry thing in honor of having this French dip within walking distance of my house, especially now that I am able to walk there to make new memories with different people. I heard once from a wise woman named Elle Woods that walking is the type of exercise that gives you endorphins.

Endorphins make you happy. And determined women who are happy with a bellyful of this sandwich don't want to kill people. So really, this French dip is a service to humanity. You're welcome, world.

Crazy Uncle Sandwiches

I knew from an early age I was destined to be a Georgia Bulldog. Though I didn't have a clue that I would graduate not as a veterinarian, but as an agriculture and science journalist, I knew the blood in my veins ran red and black, and the deep guttural "WOOF WOOF WOOF" rose naturally from my vocal cords.

It should surprise no one that one of my random, earliest memories on campus as a Baby Bulldog had to do with food. We were on a bus tour, driving through North Campus (that's the part that gets on all the University of Georgia postcards, with the magnolia trees and lots of green grass, and also the Arch) and the bus migrated downtown. A kid on the bus got really excited as we careened down Broad Street: "Uncle Otto's! That place is supposed to be so good! I can't believe it's here!"

I'd never heard of this place before. From the outside, it looked like any other restaurant crammed into historical building space — but I'll never forget the logo: some crazy dude's face. Knowing that this complete stranger highly recommended it to everyone on this packed tour bus, I made my Nanny come with me for my maiden voyage that year ... and spent the next three regularly patronizing this crazy Uncle Otto's.

Uncle Otto's specialized in a version of these European-style sandwiches called "kebap," which are a combination of Greek gyro and American sandwiches. If you're a native Athenian, or just frequent the Classic City, you probably know Uncle Otto's as the forerunner to today's KEBA Sandwiches, a franchise restaurant churning out those same delicious kebap that I first ate 10 years ago. 

A lamb kebap and Belgian fries from KEBA
Sandwiches in Athens, Georgia

I hadn't been to KEBA in several years, but jumped at the chance to slide a lunch break into my schedule this week while in Athens. It was just as good as I remembered.

You're offered three choices: sandwich, wrap or salad. For the true kebap experience, you're going to want to get the sandwich. Forget the whole healthy, no-carb crap. Just treat yo'self and indulge in this bread, because it's what makes KEBA stand out. It's shaped similarly to a pita pocket, but tastes sooo much better. Think of an unsweetened, thick waffle, and that's exactly what the bread is. It's even griddled. 

The stuffing choices include meat options (or if you're not me, falafel or feta), a selection of vegetable toppings and a sauce. I got lamb topped with lettuce and banana peppers (and would've added black olives if the restaurant hadn't been out). Sandwich sauce was roasted red pepper; for no particular reason other than it sounded good. 

There's just something about a perfectly cooked bread: slightly crisp on the outside, but super-fluffy inside, that makes eating a sandwich a mouthwatering experience. I'm unsure if the lamb is still spit-cooked like it used to be (or is at a lot of traditional European places), but it still tasted good. Lamb can either go real tough or real soft, and this was right in the middle. Enough chewiness to give it a mouthfeel, but it wasn't like you were eating shoe leather. The red pepper sauce was a good addition, too. It soaked right into the bread, and what didn't get absorbed dripped all over my fingers. 

Being a true Southern lady, I licked all that right off. Napkins are for squares, yo.

And because you can't come to KEBA and not get the thick-cut Belgian-style French fries, I couldn't resist the temptation to order a combo. I highly recommend getting the creamy feta dipping sauce for these. There's also a light creamy feta sauce if you are on one of those diet things. 

I sat on the patio with my friend Peter, alternately discussing his chemistry research and how much life can change in the blink of an eye, devouring the entire meal. I'm pretty sure this is the first time I've eaten more than Pete in a meal setting.

That's how much I missed this place. The name may have changed over the years, but the KEBA kebap is a true Classic City classic.

I'd Tap(as) That

Once upon a time (approximately until five years ago), I thought the fancy French word "hors d'oeuvres" was pronounced "whores due vors" and therefore was a synonym of "or dervs." Knowing this about myself, it was with great trepidation I accepted a dinner invitation to a locale with an entire menu dedicated to the Spanish version of "whores due vors."

Thankfully, having once almost added a Spanish minor to my two college degrees, I already knew how to pronounced "tapas" and didn't have to embarrass myself in front of the wait staff. And in case you don't know how to say it, repeat after me: "top ahs." Not "tap ass." Just a general FYI on that.

Tapas are the tiny dish of choice at Barcelona, an Atlanta-area wine bar with two locations, one in the Inman Park neighborhood and another one on the Westside, near my best friend Kayla's home. I'd been stuck in the city all day for work, and when that happens, what better way to wind out the day (read: avoid rush hour traffic) than meeting up for a choice bev and bites? After getting lowkey ditched for a whiskey mandate with Kayla's husband, Kayla convinced me to come with her to this place and have an impromptu girls' night.

Now, let me pause to tell y'all a story about the difference in my and Kayla's tastebuds. It is no secret I am going to order the most off-the-wall meat-related thing on the menu. Kayla once came close to tears because the Sigma Alpha national sorority put mayonnaise on her sandwich in a boxed lunch. I say this because it's an indication that Barcelona offers small and shareable plates for the picky eater and the experimental diner alike. But you should probably not bring your kids.

Tapas are an interesting thing because there are a couple different ways to order them. You can each order one or two and share them, or you can order one or two each and eat those as your meal (and swap bites or something). With the portion sizes at Barcelona, I definitely recommend ordering at least two if you're hungry. I finished both of my dishes and was sufficiently full, but not stuffed, and the richness of my selections made for a satisfied stomach.

Tapas are also the way to go if you're me and are therefore one of the most indecisive eaters on the face of the planet. I'm really good at narrowing my choices down to a top two or three, and then it comes to crunch time and the poor waiter is still waiting on me to make a final call. But with tapas, I know I'm going to get two things, so it's perfect. No pressure!

Though the menu has a great variety of appetizer-size options, I ordered the grilled calf's liver with pearl onions, as well as the roasted bone marrow.

The liver and onions arrived first, and were pretty remarkable. Not that I've actually cooked it myself, but after eating it other places, I find liver can get tough pretty easily. This at Barcelona was well-done in terms of texture and flavor, and the recipe is based on that of famed Basque chef Gerald Hirigoyen. His native cooking traditions come from northern Spain, and though I'm not sure of the nuances of what makes the Yankee Spaniards' cuisine differ from the southerners', I can tell you he did wonders with this recipe. The liver had that expected iron-y flavor, but had a light, meaty glaze on top and a delicate smokiness imparted from the grill. I also appreciated that it was cut in chunks instead of slices (probably a note that helped the liver not get overcooked). I feel the onions fell short, however. Where the liver was cooked to excellency, the pearls could've used a few more minutes. I prefer pearl onions so cooked they melt in your mouth, and these were still nice and crunchy.

The real star of the meal though was the bone marrow. Also something I've had before (at the fabulous Spence restaurant, RIP) ... but holy cannoli Batman. This was the creme de la creme — or, since we swapped from French terms to Spanish earlier in this post, lo mejor — of bone marrow. Y'all ... I ate this meal like, two weeks ago and I can still remember how perfect this bone marrow tasted. Heavenly days.

In consistency, bone marrow is easiest compared to meat jelly. Like, I know that sounds unappetizing. But trust me on this one. It's not gelatinous, necessarily, so imagine a lighter, sponge-y textured substance (Yoplait Whips? Maybe?) that spreads easily across the rustic grilled bread it's served with. You scoop a small amount of the buttery, luscious marrow on top of a bit of bread, then layer it with the pepperoncini relish (which is equal parts salty, tangy and spicy) and you've got a mouthful of texture and flavor like none other. Foodgasmic, honestly. Sitting here writing about it I would so go back. Like right now. Immediately. So if you're in the vicinity, get in your car at your earliest convenience and pit stop.

OH! And I forgot to mention, this place is insanely affordable. The only reason my meal was more than $20 was because I got a drink. Which means ...

Boozy Bonus >> I have no idea what the name of this cocktail is, but it's what I got, and it's so tasty. The drink has Four Roses bourbon, maple syrup, lemon juice, lavender bitters and cardamom. I couldn't taste any lavender (which is cool by me, because flowers aren't my favorite thing to eat), but I love how the syrup and cardamom brought out a delicious cinnamon- and vanilla-y quality to the bourbon. The lemon juice added brightness, perfect to spruce up a cocktail that otherwise may have been more suited to fall. Major points to Barcelona for also serving this with one of those ginormous pieces of ice — greater surface area means it melts slower so your drink is less likely to get watered down — something I hope all spirit programs get behind if they haven't already.

Kayla also recommends the sangria, but be forewarned: the red sangria looked more purple than crimson while we were there, and the white sangria has St. Germaine + wine, so imbibe at your own risk. Both were excellent and went quickly.

Suffice to say, we'll be tapping those tapas again sooner rather than later. There's a slew of cheeses I want to try, plus the top-recommended octopus (pulpo) ... and you can order an entire pig's head for the table. I'm so down for that.

Not Too Chicken to Write a Cheesy Post

Before I delve into the latest fast-food novelty item, let me apologize for first showing up with the fullest of intentions of writing on a regular basis and then proceeding to disappear again. Suffice to say that some things happened that resulted in a significant loss of interesting places to eat. Flash forward a couple months. It's not the classiest of locales, but it's unusual, and I'm all about living life to its fullest and trying all the weird these days.

Remember a couple years ago, when I first started pretending people cared about what food I ate? Yeah, you know. That time I went to T-Bell for free breakfast. This venture wasn't free, but here we are. It's May 12. One day after the fine Mexican-inspired establishment we know as Taco Bell (and my parents sometimes confusedly refer to as "Del Taco") debuted its latest and greatest menu item.

Yes, my friends.

Naked. Chicken. Chips.

Now, are they chicken nuggets? Or are they chips? At which point does a chicken nugget cease to become a piece of fried chicken and transform into a piece of fried breading known as a chip? These were dire questions that begged answers. The Meatetarian had to know what exactly a Naked Chicken Chip was and what sort of mysticism was involved in its creation.

So to Taco Bell I drug my neighbor tonight. Last night I had a mandate so I missed the opening night of these suckers; and does it really count as dragging when your neighbor's favorite food is a Baja Blast?

There are several options for the Naked Chicken Chips. There's a six-pack. A 12-pack. And a Naked Chicken Chips Box that comes with a six-pack of chixchips (am I the first one to shorthand that? I should probably copyright this), a hard or soft taco AND some sort of burrito PLUS a medium drink. Being economical, and also knowing that I can easily turn that into three meals because despite my love of fast food I don't actually pig out on it, it was a no-brainer to get the box.

On first glance, it's obvious these are way too thick to be considered chips. Like basically they're glorified nacho-shaped chicken nuggets. The verdict on whether these are something you should order or not then comes from how good they taste ... not so much on how novel a food item they are. Hashtag not-a-cronut.

The breading is pleasantly crispy. Nice and salty, as one would expect from a fast-food establishment where the main ingredients are sodium and more sodium. The meat inside is soft; not too chewy; kind of bland if we're really being honest, but the excess of sodium on the outside makes up for it.

What I'm saying is ... they're nothing special.

However. There is a sauce. A cheese sauce. A nacho cheese sauce.

And that dresses these naked little snacks up right nicely. The sauce is thick and probably a million calories, so if you're into counting those maybe you should stop. It's got a peppery bite to it that quite makes up for how unremarkable the actual chips are.

Dunking those triangle chixchips into this hot, melty sauce is akin to sitting at a sporting event in the nosebleed seats with a cold beer and a plate full of those awful cheap round actual nachos drenched in spicy hot melty nasty-but-yet-so-damn-addicting-yellow-cheese-is-it-even-really-a-sauce-or-is-it-a-drug-called-queso goodness that cost you approximately $8.65 and suddenly your team scores and you leap out of your seat and your nachos go flying (but your beer doesn't; priorities). Are these Taco Bell delights worth $8.65? Just like those actual nachos ... absolutely not. But are they a not terrible snack for a couple bucks?

Sho thang, chicken wing.

Bonus: We also tried the new "spiked" lemonade Baja Blast that allegedly contains prickly pear cactus juice. It tastes like liquified Sour Patch Kids. Do not recommend getting a large.