My Meatloaf Has Antlers.

Disclaimer: Please excuse terrible iPhone photos. I promise I'll do better next time. :)

One of the things J and I do at least once a month now (OK, starting last month, but whatever) is go to dinner and a movie. We kicked off this new tradition by heading to one of those fancy theaters with the reclining cushy seats and cocktail bars to see Benedict Cumberbatch star in his Marvel debut: "Doctor Strange."

Before I tell you about dinner let me confess to being a Cumberbitch. Yes. That is what my man Benedict's fanclub of fangirls is called. We are Cumberbitches. If anyone is looking to get me a Christmas present, a Cumberbitch shirt would be amazing. Preferably with a cape so that I can pretend I too am a Tilda Swinton-devotee-time-traveling-time-bending-mirror-dimension-fighting-superhero-who-takes-on-Mads Mikkelsen-the-white-ninja-with-a-cape-related-to-Aladdin's-magic-carpet. That is the plot of the movie, in case you did not get that part.

On the way out, J looked up nearby restaurants that were open and said, "Hey, here's Sage Woodfire Tavern. I've always wanted to go there since like high school."

That's the super-interesting story of why we decided to go here.

My first impression? Oh shit; I did not dress appropriately. See, the word "tavern" in the restaurant title is a tiny bit misleading. When I think tavern, I think hyper-masculine place with beer served in flagons, burgers, steak, mounted game on the walls ... you get my drift. Sage Woodfire Tavern is not that kind of tavern. It's a dark, moody restaurant on the inside with glossed wood tables and candlelit accent lights with live music and high-class decor. "Sage Woodfire Super Fancy Restaurant" would have been a better name. Thankfully, the dark lighting hid my ripped jeans and Converses from public view.

We started off with an appetizer of calamari, which is fried squid. Delicious. There are two ways to mess up fried squid: one, cook it so it's too tough (ew) or two, bland breading (ugh). Sage did neither of those things! The calamari was lightly breaded in a seasoning that had just enough kick to complement the spicy dipping sauce it was served with, but not enough to overpower your palate. The texture was also nice. Each bite required chewing, but it wasn't like you were trying to gnaw through raw, chilled, uncooked pork fat or anything. I thought the garnish of red pepper strips was a weird touch, but I ate them anyway because I do enjoy red pepper.

Along with the appetizer, our server brought bread. The bread was whatever. The dipping oil though? Y'ALL. I would go back just for that. Salt. Oil. Herbs de provence (I asked). Balsamic drizzle. Green onions. Tomatoes. The flavor in this little bowl was amazing! It had everything I could possibly imagine to mix in a dipping oil and then some. Like imagine this on a pasta dish, right?! Hold on; making a mental note to try that.

I had to do some major resisting to avoid eating all of the bread.

The star of the show, though, was this insane meatloaf thing I ordered. LOOK. IT HAS ANTLERS. My meatloaf has. antlers. I have never seen a garnish like this. I'm not sure what I think of it, especially since being a weird meat science person I happen to know that none of the three types of meat in this meatloaf have antlers (beef, veal [baby beef] and pork). But it caught my attention, for sure.

Let me break this entree down for you.

The meatloaf, as I mentioned, was a combination of Angus filet mignon, veal and pork. Those are all three pretty decadent in themselves, but combined? I have never eaten a meatloaf with this much depth of savory flavors. Angus is one of the most common types of beef cattle in America — they're the big black ones you'll see in fields all over the Southeast, especially. It's so popular that it has its own brand with specific requirements to market beef: Certified Angus Beef. The filet mignon is the retail name for a specific cut from the tenderloin, and it is the most tender cut of beef. It also happens to be my favorite, so!

Now, before y'all start yelling at me for eating veal, let me school you a moment.

Veal is baby beef. Beef is technically a meat derived from a steer (castrated male bovine) that is harvested at 12 to 18 months of age. Sidenote: If you're buying grass-finished beef, it's probably closer to 18 to 24 months. Because grass-only puts less fat on meat than a grain-and-grass diet, it takes longer for these animals to get a similar fat covering and thus flavor. Veal calves are harvested younger than 12 months old, and enjoy a mostly milk-based diet. There are also lots of regulations regarding how they are raised in a safe manner with the health of the calves paramount ... but that's another post for another time. Anyway, because the animals are harvested at such a young age, veal is ridiculously tender. Butter-soft. And also naturally mild-flavored (goes back to the calves' diets).

So let's review. The meatloaf has pork (naturally rich and flavorful, because fat is amazing). It has Angus filet (read my lips: t-e-n-d-e-r). It also has veal (tender-er).

I kid you not: forkfuls melted in my mouth. Combined with the mushroom bordelaise sauce, which includes red wine and marrow in its ingredient list, plus soft and fluffy Yukon Gold mashed potatoes and salty wilted spinach ... this is foodgasm-level good. (If you look on the menu, you'll notice the vegetable side was supposed to be steamed vegetables. Gross. I subbed in the wilted spinach.)

Oh, and have I mentioned the portion size yet?! You may think $17 for a meatloaf is bat-guano-crazy, but you get a lot of meatloaf/potatoes/veg for $17. I turned it into three meals. Three so-good meals.

This will definitely be a repeat place — also on the specials menu is tiramisu cheesecake ... what! — but I will probably wear something a little more appropriate for the atmosphere.

The Meatetarian Eats Dallas

The Meatetarian did a lot of traveling during the past few weeks! Today I’m taking you for a brief jaunt into the city that was named after me.

That’s right: Dallas, Texas.

This trip was for my annual Mary Kay Seminar, so most of our dining was done during the conference … but arriving a day early meant I was able to partake in a couple of the city’s finer eats within walking distance of our hotel.

Ellen's Southern Kitchen

Ellen's came highly recommended from our concierge. I thought I wasn’t hungry enough for soul food, but the group I found myself with that afternoon was from Boston, had little experience with “Southern kitchens” and I decided to indulge the girls’ fancy.

At this restaurant I found a sandwich that rivals the Carnivorgasm in height. And of course, being the Meatetarian, I ordered it.

The towering open-face meatloaf sandwich

It was a hearty open-faced meatloaf sandwich. There is a slab of juicy beef meatloaf covered in thick, hot brown gravy, on top of a piece of toast. All of that mama’s kitchen cookin’ is then stacked on top of a generous scoop of silky mashed potatoes.

As if that’s not enough to sink your teeth into, there’s stuff on top of the meatloaf too. I guess it’s served open-face because it’s hella hard to get another piece of bread to stay on top of a fried egg, crispy fried onion rings and grilled pepper rings, huh?

The lunch feat before me was most impressive. I ate every bite, down to the last scrape of mashed potatoes doused in a mixture of gravy and egg yolk. Whoever decided that meatloaf needed to be topped with ketchup clearly missed a grand opportunity to make fried eggs and gravy topping a food trend.

My favorite thing about this meatloaf is how juicy it was. Texture-wise it was more like eating a hamburger patty, since meatloaf – notoriously restaurant meatloaf – can come out dry, crumbly or both. This healthy slice stayed together despite me eating it with a fork and heaping it with all of the other stuff that came on the “sandwich.” Needless to say, I did not have room for dessert, and wasn’t sure I’d have room for supper, either!

Wild Salsa

Funny story: the group I was with for dinner asked the hotel valet how far “Wild Bill’s” was. We got that cleared up mighty fast after the looks they gave us and then rented a stretch Hummer for a half-mile drive to the most authentic Mexican restaurant I’ve ever eaten at.

The atmosphere at Wild Salsa is cool. There is no other word for it, as cliché as “cool” sounds. The lights are dim. The decorations are tequila bottles, Dia de los Muertos skulls and a palette of warm colors. It’s close quarters inside and yet I didn’t feel crowded. I’ve never been to a Mexican cantina, but I feel like Wild Salsa did a good job recreating one.

If you remember from my visit to The El Felix earlier this spring, you know the love I have for Mexican and Mexican-inspired cuisine. The flavors are bright, fresh and balanced. With a big kick.

Having eaten enough lunch to feed a family of four, I settled for lighter fare and went with what sounded the most exotic: a tongue taco.

Have I ever eaten tongue? Nope.

A taco that's easy on the eyes ...
and heavy on the tongue.

Have I removed it from a bovine carcass during a meat science lab and been impressed by how much meat was on it? Yup.

Was I excited to relish the flavor of tongue on my tongue? You betcha. I was bouncing with anticipation, because trying a new meat is such an awesome experience for me.

Oh, y’all. I don’t know how I’ve never eaten tongue before.

It is the carnivore’s version of tofu (and yes … I have eaten tofu.) – tender, smooth, not at all spongy. Which makes sense, when you think about it being such a strong muscle in life. This tongue was marinated, giving it a great subtly spicy beef flavor. Since marinating is a way to tenderize meat, that probably added value to the great texture these cubes had.

Also on the taco was a spicy tomatillo salsa and pickled red onions. The chefs at Wild Salsa did an excellent job putting together spice, salt and sour in each bite. I will say, I like a little spice, and it seemed like a few dishes ordered by my tablemates might have been on the lotta spice side – so check with your server before you order something that may get clear your sinuses!

The side dish of cilantro rice also deserves an honorable mention. Normally I like rice salty, and this rice was not. However, it was fresh and had that great unmistakable essence of cilantro cooked in it and sprinkled on top. Given the intense flavors on the taco, it was great to have such a mild-mannered side dish next to it. Overall, dinner was a great balance of personalities that worked well together – just like the women in the company we were in town to celebrate.